Rhetoric of Fear The Death of the California Dream Health Care in Perspective The Discipline Leave No Child Behind No Daddy, No! Unconditional Equal Justice under the Law Thank God I Am Not A Woman Infallible "Don't ask, don't tell" Thou Shalt Not Kill Irreconcilable Differences My Will Positive Reinforcement Changing My Name After Sixty Years Copyright © 2000-2009 Thomas E. Rosenberg. All right reserved. Essays may be reproduced with written permission. tomr@inaword.org

The elimination of negative words brings clarity to speech Positive Reinforcement Few sports compare with downhill skiing for sheer exhilaration. A sense of accomplishment comes with mastering a mountain. Spectacular vistas make one feel close to nature. For the beginner there is also fear. Breath-taking heights and steep terrain, the feeling of losing control, can be terrifying. Most beginners ski defensively because they are afraid of an injury. All beginners start with some sort of lesson. Where there is so much fear, good communication is essential to build confidence. A poor instructor is generally a poor communicator. The experience of one beginner turned what should have been a positive experience into a turnoff. After a morning on a beginners' slope, she found her feet dangling from a chairlift high above the ground. Her anxiety grew as she rode past sheer cliffs and over slopes strewn with jagged rocks. The instructor's ego rose in sinc with the chair as it climbed higher and higher. "Don't worry," he said repeatedly. I wouldn't take you anywhere you can't handle. When they finally reached the summit, the instructor said proudly "I want you to know that no one at your level has ever been here before." "Why am I doing this?" she asked herself. She felt tense and tired. The lesson ended in a serious accident. Often we assume our words that by their nature are ambiguous, convey what we mean. Understanding comes easier be stating what is rather than what isn't. Had he said "We're going up high, but the terrain on top is really quite gentle. You've mastered the skills required to ski where we're going. I've picked this lift because the scenery is so beautiful. I believe this will add to your enjoyment and give you confidence," he would have better conveyed what he meant. The instructor's use of language can be faulted more than his choice of slopes.